The wonders of modern physical therapy or will she ever walk again?

Several weeks ago to aid in the healing of my injured knee I was thrust (by my beloved HMO) into the “capable hands” of TheraMatrix Physical Therapy facility. The place continues to boggle my mind to this day. In the six weeks I’ve been going there, I have seen six therapists! I kid you not. The place is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

First time I show up there, I meet my therapist. He does an evaluation on my knee and prescribes some exercises. I’m hopeful and eager to start my healing process. “Oh, by the way, I’m quitting here at the end of the week” – my therapist informs me in passing. Okay, I think, I haven’t formed any emotional attachments, so I guess, I’ll survive. The next time I’m in there I’m seeing someone else already. The woman bombards me with the same questions about my knee. I sigh and repeat the whole sordid story. Then she tells me to go ahead and do the exercises the other therapist recommended. I proceed to do just that until I see the look of disapproval on her face. The look says “Tsk, tsk, tsk.. You’re doing it all wrong!” “What?” I ask. She tells me that I’m supposed to hold my squats and leg lifts for 10 counts, not just go at it. I say “okay” and obediently start holding. The very next session, yet another therapist inquires with alarm in his voice “why are you holding the squats and the leg lifts?!! “Umm..” I stumble. “’Cause one of you fine folks told me to?” “No, no, no. Stop holding. Your knee is too weak for that!” - he urges. “Right-o”, I sigh and even more obediently stop holding. Couple sessions later I’m meeting third therapist in the lineup of caring knowledgeable people employed by this amazing facility dedicated to make us invalids all better in no time at all. Where was I? Oh yes. The third therapist is fresh off the boat and happily informs me that he came to Michigan (vs. any other state) because Michigan has the lowest standards for foreign PT specialists for passing their US exams to be able to practice. “Goody!” I think. “How lucky am I?” Then the new guy wants to know “where it is paining?” “Right here” I say, pointing to my head.

Two sessions later, lo and behold, it’s a fresh new face. This lady looks like she really wants to be there. I mean, REALLY. The dedication in her eyes is simply undying. Yea, right. At a crawling speed she does my ultrasound, for some reason favoring the outside of my knee, though I have an MCL sprain, which, for those not in the know, is the ligament on the inside of the knee. Then, in an exhausted voice she asks me how she should apply the E Stim (electrical stimulation) to my knee and whether she should use the cold pack or the hot pack on top of it. “Well…” I hesitate and then politely inquire “Don’t YOU know how it should be done?” Blank face follows and I swear I could hear the squeaking of the wheels in the brain.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. The knee is getting better despite the efforts of my diligent caretakers. I go in one night and see, yet again, that the new guy is eager to heal what ails me. He appears quite knowledgeable and declares that A) I’m doing well enough to stop going to PT and just continue with my exercises at home and B) I have to start wearing a different brace (a lighter one. I’ve changed 4 braces already) but wear it a night also! “Okay”, I say and cancel my upcoming sessions. I go home only to get a phone call from the PT office to tell me that they are concerned with my canceling my therapy and that I need to come back for an evaluation. Like a sad little donkey pulled by its reins, I haul my cute little butt back in. One of the therapists I saw before, though frankly they’re all a blur by now, looks quite concerned. “You are in no shape to be done with PT!” – She declares. “You still need our help! You don’t want to stop now and re-injure your knee. Do you? ” “No, no!” - I quickly surrender. “I don’t want that at all”. “Oh, and by the way, why are you still wearing a brace? You should be weaning yourself off by now!” I roll my eyes in utter exhaustion…

I got just a few more visits and then I won’t have to see those folks again (ever, hopefully). But, I can’t help but wonder whether I’d be pain free by now if it weren’t for their tender loving care. Hmmmm….

H